Friday, March 30, 2007

Blog Closed by Executive Order

Fellow Iowans:
I regret to inform you that, due to its homophobic content, I have instructed my newly created WSM (Welcoming Speech Ministry) to lock this blog to prevent further posts by its owner. The authority for me to do this comes from the new "Fair Speech" law, which is Iowa Code Section, uh, well, we haven't actually passed that law yet, but it is coming down the pike. However, due to the hateful and bigoted nature of this blog, I cannot wait for a technicality in order to enforce this law. I'm sure you agree.

Recent polls show that 59% of Iowans believe this kind of intolerant and offensive speech should be stopped at all costs. 11 other states have taken such action against blog posters, and it is time for Iowa to do so also. I know you share my concern that someone might be offended because some intolerant religious fanatic thinks freedom of speech means he can publicly say that homosexuality is immoral. That's just wrong and we're not going to allow it in this state!

Now, I'm going to ask for your help to make Iowa (and the Internet) an even more welcoming place. Our new WSM only has a staff of 150 and a budget of $32 million, so we are going to need the cooperation of every Iowan. If you see a blog, or other website, that you can determine is based in Iowa which portrays any of the following behaviors (real or perceived) in any way that is not positive--gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, transexual, transvestite, cross dressing, gender identity, questioning, etc.--please bring it to our attention immediately. E-mail the offensive link to, and the problem will be "resolved" within 24 hours.

Thank you for your participation. As a result of your effort, Iowa will be a safer and more welcoming place for all people.


Note: If you are a minor, you are welcome to be a part of this important effort. Be assured that if your parents are jailed for their hate speech, you will be placed in a good, loving home where you won't have to worry about having antiquated, intolerant religious beliefs forced down your throat.

***NOTE - The above is fiction now, but could become reality in the near future if we allow the liberals to continue to take us further in the direction they have been taking us since assuming total control of the Iowa Statehouse***