Karen Manning wrote this to friends from her hospital bed in Iowa City July 9, 2012, just before undergoing surgery to remove a brain tumor. Her words point us to worship of our faithful God. I don't know what trial you are facing today, but may you be encouraged to have a thankful heart, too.
On Losing My Mind -- and Being Thankful
I was encouraged to blog, but until someone with a whole brain has a chance to set up a blog for me after surgery, I thought I might take this liberty just today to share my thoughts as a testimony to what God is already doing for us through your prayers...
This is the day we begin a new adventure with God. Over the weekend we found out that I have a malignant brain tumor and today a skilled team of Drs will cut through my skull, into my cerebellum, and try to remove the tumor. At my age, I sometimes feel I'm losing my mind, but today I will be doing exactly that! There are many praying, and the God of peace and grace is filling us with peace and grace. He is good, even in circumstances that are not good!
In His mercy, He has spared me from the "why me's?". I don't need to know why, I just need to know Him! And from what I already know of Him, I know that He can be trusted. This was totally unexpected, but it has not caught God off guard and He will carry us through.
This day, Lord, I praise You for the first 54 years of my life. They have been full, and I have been blessed! Though being with You today would be a delight, I ask You for more years here to serve You and for more time with my new husband and our blended family.
I ask You to use this event to show us all more of who You are --- and for it to be a testimony to those who are watching as we go through it. Trials are never just about us or just for us. They ripple out into the lives of others, and You can use them to teach and reach those whom You have not chosen to go through things like this. Teach and reach, we ask! Don't let this be wasted. It's a bad thing, but You are in the business of redeeming bad things and using them for good. (After all, You redeemed us!) Help us to be faithful to You through this, and to not blame You or accuse You of being unloving. What a lie that would be because Oh, how You love us! Help us to be good representatives of You and accurate reflectors of Who You are, because there are many who have a mistaken perception of You.
I love You, Lord, and this day I lift my voice in worship to You for being the wonderful God that You are! Even though this family has faced cancer twice before, You have been good! You never left us, and You tenderly carried us in Your arms, as a Shepherd carries His lambs. We look forward to that again as The Great Adventure, part 3 begins!
"Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in You my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of Your wings until the disaster has passed. I cry out to God Most High, to God, Who fulfills His purpose for me.... My heart is steadfast, O God... I will praise You, O Lord... I will sing of You... For great is Your love, reaching to the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exalted, O God..." Psalm 57